Pretend
by syble
Summary: It's like highschool. You're the cheerleader Eric's the football jock and you're both madly in love with each other. With that said, Calleigh's smile faltered. I am in love, she thought, just not with the jock. CaRWash


**Title:** Pretend

**Author:** !syble!

**Pairing: **CaRWash

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**_DISCLAIMER:_ Ownership of any characters or the show does not belong to the author of this story.**

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Eric walked into the lab with a huge smile in his face. Him and Calleigh spent a most amazing night at the fancy restaurant and afterwards, too. There was no doubt about it, nothing could ruin his day! He passed by DNA and caught a glimpse of that beautiful blonde hair just inside the breakroom. Calleigh was talking to someone animatedly and from what Eric could see, she seemed perfectly happy, even if they haven't even talked this morning yet._No_, Eric thought, _this is not going to ruin my day._ But his wishes were unfulfilled when he walked into the breakroom and was met by the green eyes of both his love and Ryan Wolfe. 

"Morning, Eric," Calleigh said. Ryan nodded his head.

Eric couldn't pinpoint the exact feeling he had but it was bad. _What was Wolfe doing here? I thought he got fired. _"Hello," he said back, giving her a kiss on the cheek. In a way, he felt as if she just moved away so the kiss would land on her cheek.

"Ryan is back," she exclaimed. Ryan smiled.

"I can see that," Eric replied.

"Horatio gave me back my job. The whole thing against me was deemed to be unnecessary but I'm stuck with labwork and papers for the next century," Ryan said.

Eric gave a slight smile as he looked from Calleigh to Ryan. Both seemed to be totally at ease and he hasn't seen Calleigh smile like that in ages. But Eric shook the feeling away, feeling no worries. Ryan was no competition. The next few months proved this wrong to Eric. Ryan and Calleigh worked together a lot, even though Ryan mostly did labwork. Eric felt as if he was losing Calleigh and not even to a better man. Ryan was...Ryan. He was a newbie, a rookie. If he was going to lose Calleigh, he would only lose her to someone worthy and Wolfe was not worthy.

xxxxx

Calleigh stepped out of her car and came face to face with Ryan. He gave a goofy grin as he handed her a cup of coffee. "Morning," he said.

"Hey," Calleigh replied. "You brought me coffee."

"I did, I thougth you might need a wake up call," he stated. The two started the morning with a double homicide. Calleigh having to go back to lab to keep Ryan informed or otherwise they would always be on the phone. During these times, Calleigh realized how much she missed Ryan's company. Working was indeed different without him. During the next couple of cases, Horatio always paired her up with Ryan. Calleigh felt Eric slip away. He was acting very differently. almost as if he was trying to win a race or a bet with someone. Because of this, Calleigh started feeling more at ease with Ryan as company. He was such a good listener.

One day, after a tough case, Calleigh stepped out of the lab and walked a little ways down the beach. She was meeting Eric later at a really fancy restaurant. She felt as if this would finally give their relationship that little something it was missing lately. As she stood there staring out into the ocean, she felt a hand come up to her shoulder, her first guess was that it was Eric but as she turned, she saw herself face to face with those familiar green eyes again. Calleigh smiled, "Hi, I thought you were Eric."

Ryan's smile faltered a little, but Calleigh didn't notice. "Last I heard," Ryan said, "he was getting for your big date tonight at that French restaurant I won't even attempt to say."

Calleigh looked puzzled. "How did you hear about that?" she asked.

Ryan looked at her with the same puzzled expression, "He yelled it out to the whole lab."

Calleigh frowned. "He's been doing that lately. I don't know what's wrong."

Ryan smiled at her hopefully, "Nothing's wrong," he said. "He's just happy to be with you, who wouldn't?"

At this their eyes met and Calleigh felt lightheaded until Ryan broke the eye contact, looking sheepish; he immediately diverted her attention to the beach. "Wait right here," he said.

Calleigh looked at him, confused, but he just smiled and ran towards the street. He came back with a big pink cottoncandy in his hand and handed it to Calleigh. "Nothing like a good cottoncandy that'll get your appetite going for French food!"

Calleigh smiled. "What?", she asked, stunned.

"Just eat," he replied. They spent an hour just talking there until Ryan suggessted that she should probably get going since he couldn't miss her big date. Calleigh was a little more than disappointed that she had to leave. The dinner turned out great but Calleigh wasn't feeling as happy as she did when she was with Ryan. But still, Calleigh put on a happy face, just for Eric. Things continued on the same way for the next few moths. Calleigh noticed that Eric kept on bringing her from one celebrity restaurant to the next. She couldn't possible imagine what he could have in store for her birthday, she wasn't even sure if she could handle the magnitude of his gift.

When her birthday came, Calleigh received a devastating call from Eric. His mother was rushed to the hospital and though Calleigh offered to go with him to the hospital, Eric had insisted that she didn't have to. So, with that, Calleigh ended up sitting at home all by herself on her birthday. No one bothered to call her or drop by because Eric had told everyone that Calleigh was off limits for the day. Calleigh was tempted to call everyone over but she wasn't comfortable with celebrating either, in case Eric called or something. So, by eight o'clock, she was watching her sixth movie with popcorn and a big glass of coke when her doorbell rang. There was Ryan, wearing a casual mint green shirt and jeans, "Happy birthday!", he greeted; with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a small gift on the other.

"Wow," Calleigh said, "You came. No one came becasue Eric said that I was off limits for the day."

Ryan looked puzzled. "I must've missed that memo," he replied. "If you're busy, I really just came to drop these off and wish you a happy birthday."

Calleigh smiled, "Do I look busy? Eric's mom was rushed to the hospital. She's doing better but Eric is there watching her."

"What are you doing, then?" Ryan asked.

"I'm having myself a movie marathon," Calleigh replied.

Ryan thought for a moment the smiled. "Okay," he said, "Come on then."

Once again, Calleigh was confused by his actions. "What?"

"Just come on," Ryan urged. "I know the perfect place for a movie marathon." Before Calleigh could refused for the most obvious reasons, she and Ryan were cruising the Miami highway and Calleigh couldn't have felt happier. They stopped in a park where Calleigh read: Movie Nite is Everynight! She soon realized they were in one of those outdoor theatres she's heard about but never really gone to. Ryan was an abosulte gentleman the whole night. He bought ehr popcorn, they had another cottoncandy and Calleigh couldn't have imagined a better day for her birthday. She hasn't had this much fun in years. The feeling of just being so comfortable in someone else's prescence was not something she was used to.

Many hours later, at around three in the morning, Ryan was driving a very asleep Calleigh home. He shook her gently as they reached her condo and she responded with a soft sigh followed by a slight jump. Ryan smiled at her waking up. He walked her to her door where she stared adorably at his face. Calleigh couldn't help noticing how handsoem he looked. Before she opened the door, Ryan wished her a happy birthday again and gave her a hug. Calleigh melted right into his arms. She's never felt anything that powerful come from just a hug. Later, when Calleigh was trying to fall asleep, she couldn't help her thoughts drifting to Ryan. She knew she was feeling things she shouldn't.

The next morning at the lab, Calleigh had a huge smile on her face. She has opened Ryan's gift and couldn't help but be fascinated at how he remembered their very first case together. He had given her a beautiful silver neclake with a small-torqoise coloured tear-dropped shape stone hanging. However, in the card, he had included a small alligator accessory that he said she can put on the necklace instead. For some reason, she couldn't help smiling so when she passed by Natalia, "Wow, huge smile, Cal," the woman said. "Eric's one lucky man. It's like highschool. You're the cheerleader; Eric's the football jock; and you're both madly in love with each other."

Calleigh smiled at Natalia but her smile faltered as she entered the ballistic lab. _I am in love_, she thought, _just not with the jock_.

xxxxx

Since Calleigh was still with him, Eric felt a little better. He knew that he needed this arrangement to last. He had made it up to her for her birthday, even though she told him he didn't have to. Eric was just doing all he can. He couldn't lose Calleigh, not to Ryan. So, one night, after work, Eric went to the one place where he could buy his desired future. On his and Calleigh's eight month anniversary, Eric invited everyone to the breakroom. There, he got down on one knee and asked Calleigh to to be his wife. He knew that she couldn't say no, not with everyone there. As he saw the shocked look on her expression, he averted his eyes to the corner where Ryan looked to be close to tears. He turned back to see Calleigh smiling a genuine smile and nodding her approval. What Eric has missed when he gazed at Ryan was Calleigh's hesitation and quick loook at the mirror where Ryan's face was reflected. The look, however, didn't escape Alexx.

xxxxx

Ryan was devastated. Calleigh was getting married. She was going to be with Eric forever. Ryan had gone to the breakroom at Eric's request. He wasn't Eric's rival, they were friends. Until he heard him ask Calleigh that question. Ryan couldn't feel anything but anger. Anger at Eric for stealing Calleigh away. Anger at Calleigh for accepting. But most of all, he was angry at himself for giving Eric the chance to ask and Calleigh to accept. He should have told Calleigh how he felt before. He couldn't be mad at Eric. They loved each other; that's all Ryan could ever ask. So, with as much courage as he coudl muster up, Ryan put on a smiling face and congratulated the happy couple. He went home after that and felt worse than ever.

The next couple of days around the lab consisted of nothing but talks of the impending wedding. Ryan couldn't seem to get away from it all. The lab was filled with the news. Luckily, Horatio seemed to notice his distress and he was once again allowed to work out in the field. By the fifth day after the "fateful day", Ryan was getting along better. He was at his home that night, watching some television after a very tough case. At around ten past eleven, Ryan went up to his balcony to look out to the golf range across the street. He was surprised to see a woman sitting in the grass. His thoughts turned from surprise to curiosity as he realized who the woman was. Ryan immediately ran downstairs and across the street. "Calleigh?" he asked.

"Hey, you...," she replied.

Ryan looked at her questioningly, "What are you doing here?"

"I just went for a walk, to clear my head. I needed some air," she answered.

"You ended up here?" Ryan asked, "Your house is over an hour away and it's late. How long have you been here? What if something happened? Why didn't you knock?

Calleigh smiled, "Whoa, there, Ryan. I haven't been here long. I have my gun and I thought you were asleep."

Ryan weighed her answers, "Okay, now you have two options. Either I walk you back home or I drive you back home."

Calleigh looked at him amused, "What makes you think I need you to walk me back?"

Ryan faked being hurt, "Oh, alright then. I guess you have no time for your dear ol'friend."

Calleigh smiled and played along, "Of course I'll be happy if you took me back home. I cannot possibly pass an opportunity to be with you."

Ryan laughed. "Well," he stated, "since you insist. Shall we walk or ride?"

Calleigh considered her options and stuck out her arm. "Let's walk."

Ryan groaned before taking her arm. "You realize I still have to walk back."

Calleigh smirked, "You offered!"

Their walk back to Calleigh's house was fun. The two talked about everything except maybe the one thing they actually wanted to discuss. Ryan attempted to bringn it up but he didn't want to dwell on it. He was determined to have a wonderful conversation with Calleigh at the moment where she was all his. Much to both their disappointments, they soon reached Calleigh's house. They had been walking silently for the last fifteen minutes. Ryan was just enjoying his time with Calleigh. When he looked at her to comment on how his foot was too sore adn he may have to borrow her car, he was surprised to see tears in her eyes. Ryan knew that Calleigh Duquesne never cried, but here she was.

He took her hand and turned her to face himself, "Cal, what's wrong?"

Calleih sobbed, "This wedding. Everything...You."

Ryan looked puzzled, hurt that he was one of the things making her cry. He wanted to ask for an explanation but he didn't know if he wanted to hear it. They stood there for a pretty long time until Calleigh spoke, "I can't marry Eric. I just...I don't know. All these wedding plans. First I thought it was cold feet and that I was just getting nervous but it's not all that. In the beginning, I thought being with Eric was the right thing to do because he needed me. Then we started going out and it was great until...until it stopped being great. He wasn't pulling away but I can't seem to feel his love; it was more of just an admiration and possesion...," she paused and Ryan tried to interject but Calleigh cut him off, "let me finish...; then you came back. And I realized something. I don't know but..."

Ryan looked at her directly, green eyes on green. "Calleigh, do you love him?"

Calleigh nodded and Ryan felt his heart break into a million pieces. "I do," she said. "I love him but I'm in love with someone else."

At this Ryan looked up to see her smiling at him. "It's this guy," she explained. "He's been my shoulder to lean on, my movie buddy, my constant listener, the guy who can't seem to stop buying me cotton candy, he's been my clown, the guy I can always count on, the guy..no..the man I'm staring at right now."

Ryan felt like a kid who saw the big red bike under the tree on Christmas morning. He looked at Calleigh and capture her lips into his own. Their kiss took on a life of it's own. It started off as tentative but the passion and love they felt for one another soon became evident and Ryan left a sweet peck on Calleigh's lips as their kiss ended. "I love you," he whsipered.

She smiled and hugged him closer. "I love you, too."

Both stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Neither felt like letting go. It felt so right. Never before has either of them felt this safe or happy with someone else. However, both knew that it couldn't last. No matter how much they both wanted it, neither could do that to Eric. As Ryan let Calleigh go, his heart broke once more. He knew that he would probably never be able to hold her like he just did. So, Ryan went back just to hold her one more time. Neither broke the eye contact, knowing that tomorrow will bring them farther apart and neither knew if they could handle it.

xxxxx

After the engagement, Eric couldn't have felt happier. He loved the look of defeat in Ryan's face as he congratulated them. All this joy made him blind to the glances that were being shared by both Ryan and Calleigh. A week or so after the fateful night, he went into DNA to tell Natalia to keep down her music. She had refused, explainig that music was a way to cleanse the soul and can tell a story of life. "You'll see, Eric," she said, "One day, you're going to listen to a song and find that it completely describes you." Eric shook his head in disbelief and was going by the locker for his things when he stopped at the door as he listened in on a conversation between Alexx and Calleigh.

"Hey, baby," he heard Alexx say to Calleigh, "Is that last Christmas's photo?"

"Yeah," Calleigh said. "We all look happy, don't we?"

"Yes," Alexx responded. "But not anymore, what's wrong, baby?"

_I could pretend to love you  
And be someone else for awhile  
Make you believe your the one that I want  
Give you my heart in diguise_

"I don't love him, Alexx," Calleigh said. _What?,_ Eric thought, _How could she not love me?_

Alexx looked at Calleigh in disbelief. "I tried," Calleigh explained. "After he got shot, all I could think about was how I couldn't lose another friend. Then, Horatio started partenering us up all the time and I could see that he liked me. I thought I could like him, too. Alexx, his my dearest friend. I thought, maybe, this would help his recovery. He looked like he wasn't going to make it, Alexx. I did this for him."

_Make all your dreams come true  
Surrender my love  
At the feet of your will  
And live out your fantasy for you  
And you would be happy  
And I'd make you smile  
And I'd go on living a lie_

"Then," Calleigh continued, "he asked me to marry him. I couldn't say no, Alexx. He loves me."

_I could make you a promise  
And be all you want me to be  
Give you my hand as we walk down the aisle  
So you could live happily_

"But you don't love him," Alexx offered. "I think you're forgetting one reason of why you're changing your mind. Let's see, he's this guy in this photo with his arm around your shoulder. About this high--" Alexx signaled in the air, "and has a sweet smile and green eyes."

Calleigh bowed her head, "I didn't mean to, Alexx. We didn't mean to. I love Eric, I always will. But...I'm in love with Ryan and I think I always will be." At this, Eric felt anger course through his veins.

"You shouldn't have made Eric hopeful, Calleigh," Alexx stated. "He doesn't deserve this."

Calleigh nodded in shame, "I know, but...Alexx, what should I do?"

"Tell Eric," Alexx replied. "He deserves the truth. All you three, you deserve happiness. Let Eric find his love. That's all I can say."

Calleigh nodded. "Thanks," she said. Eric could hear her coming closer and he ran out before she could see him. He made his way down to the parking lot. He couldn't belive what he just heard. Calleigh was going to leave him, for Wolfe. He could nto, he would not believe it. As he pondered what to say to Calleigh the next day, he didn't realize that she was right there in the parking lot. He saw her approach and say, "We need to talk."

"Are you breaking up with me," he joked. Calleigh didn't even look up.

"I'm sorry," he heard her whisper. "I can't do this." As she said this, she took the engagement ring off her finger and handed it to him.

_I could be the one to hold you  
And I could be the one you need  
But I could never be the one  
To give you everything_

He pretended to be shocked but his answer was merely laced with anger, "Why, Calleigh," he questioned, "What does he have that I don't?"

Calleigh looked surprise at his response. "What?"

At that, Eric blew up, "You think I didn't hear you? Why, him, Calleigh? Why?"

Calleigh shook her head, angered that Eric was eavesdropping, "Maybe becasue he's never like this. Maybe because he doesn't make what we have seem like a celebrity affair. Ever since he got back, you've been doing all you can to show to the world how much you think you love me. The extravagant flowers, the public announcements of where were going to eat dinner, the very public proposal! Eric, if you love me, show me! Right now, all you're doing is trying to beat Ryan. I'm not a game, Eric. I'm not some prize that you can wiggle in front of Ryan saying, 'Look what I've got.' With Ryan, I feel safe and happy. I can feel that he loves me."

Eric was angered, "You think I don't love you. I love you Calleigh." In saying it, however, he saw how she was somewhat right. He ahs been trying to beat Ryan but Calleigh had nto right to say that he never loved her.

"Do you?," she challenged. "Or do you love the idea of being with me? I thought that too, in the beginning. I knew you cared for me and that I could learn to love you, too. Beign with you was saving me from any heartache."

Eric looked at her in disgust, "I can't believe you're doing this! Throw away what we have just for him. I thought that even if I lost you, I at least would lose you to a better man."

Calleigh looked at him, "I know you don't mean that. I'm sorry, Eric. I'd say it, but I can't. I can say I love you. But I'm in love with Ryan."

_Cause this is not  
What I had planned  
I hoped one day that you will understand  
If I could take  
This heart I broke  
And say I love you honey  
If I could_

At this, Eric walked away. How could she possibly think that she was better off with Ryan. He was just showing his love in a different way, nothing wrong with that. He can't just let her go. She's not better off with him anyways. Right? Eric pondered over this all night. He hardly slept at all. When he got to the lab, it seems as if everyone has already about the cancellation of the upcoming wedding. _It's going to be a long day_, Eric thought.

When assigning cases, Horatio paired Eric up with Natalia as Calleigh went off with Ryan. Eric looked at them in disgust. During lunch, while him and Natalia were heading into the lab, they spotted Calleigh adn Ryan a little ways off by the beach. They were just sitting in the sand, talking. Eric couldn't remember when he did that with Calleigh. He thought about all that she told him last night and now he saw how she could've been right. Natalia noticed his gaze and said, "He's alright, you know. He's not going to hurt her."

Eric looked at her, "He better not." He watched some more as the two stood up and headed back to the Hummer, their hands linking right away and Ryan's arm protectively around Calleigh's shoulder. At the lab, him and Natalia split up and Eric ended up in the office with Horatio. "Eric," H started, "I'm sorry."

Eric looked up to his leader, "Me, too. Things she said to me last night started making sense. Maybe I was justholding her back. I just couldn't bear the thought of losing her, but I know now that I was holding on to her for the wrong reasons."

Horatio nodded, "He's not a bad guy, Eric,"--and Eric nodded his approval. "Besides," H continued, "if he ever does anything, we know where he works."

Eric laughed, "Thanks, H. I owe Calleigh a really big apology. Maybe I'll just give her a really nice present when she marries Wolfe." H nodded his approval with a smile as Eric stepped out of the office. Eric took in the scenery before him. Calleigh was just outside the breakroom, talking to Cooper possibly about the case when Eric saw her look to her left where Ryan was sitting with Alexx in one of the interrogation room. The two shared eye contact as each smiled at the other. Just then, he heard the lyrics of the music floating from Natalia's lab.

_But do you really want  
To give your life to  
Thinking you've found true love  
When it hasn't found you_

Eric smiled to himself._ I'll find mine,_ he thought. With that, he proceeded into the DNA lab and came face to face with Natalia.

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**Author's Notes: **Please don't kill me. I know I'm not a big fan of the whole E/C thing. It's CaRWash forever with me! So, I am sorry if anyoen who reads this feels that I bashed Eric a lot. It was just that I was listening to this song by Kimberley Locke, I Could, and this is the story that formed in my head. For any CaRWash fan who are actually talented with making videos, I think this is a great song to match with our favourite couple's current dilemma. 

Hope you like it...reviews are appreciated...xD


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